FAM(ILY)

I haven't blogged in forever. There hasn't been much to say. Everyone expects drama and spice from Jamie and I. We are tired of drama and we are saving the spice for each other. LOL. We did host an Old Jefferson neighborhood reunion party a few weeks ago and it was truly wonderful to see everyone milling about the house and yard laughing and having a good time. But since that time, we’ve stayed very close to home and very close to one another. It was surprising to both of us to realize that people we thought we were close to are people we are no longer sure we can trust. We’ve had a real lifestyle change over the last few months. People are so used to Jamie and me footing the bill for everything but we just can’t anymore. May was probably the worst month we’ve had in a while. We have ongoing issues with our children that need our immediate and constant attention. Parenting is never easy. Life isn’t easy. As we get older we take on more responsibilities and sometimes those responsibilities take us down a different path than the ones our friends are walking. Often, unfortunately, this means we grow apart. Still, there are times when walking that different path brings you closer to a person – that’s a truly wonderful and amazing thing! It truly, truly saddens me to realize that in the last month when I’ve needed a shoulder or someone to confide in that the list of people I felt I could truly pick up the phone and call were limited to my husband, my mom and Tami. It’s not that I couldn’t call others but I didn’t want to feel like a burden or bother. You know what I’m talking about. There is a silver lining in that however! My mom and I have put aside resentment and frustration with one another and bonded again. Tami and I were moving away from one another with the whirlwinds our lives had become but as sisters often do, we pulled together for one another when the chips were down. THAT is a fabulous thing! I know you’re wondering now… No. Tami and I are not biological sisters. Some time ago Tami and I realized that we are of the same opinion that family isn’t always about biology and marital ties. Family is about the people that stand by you through the good, bad and ugly. So we adopted one another! And yes, we are very, very, VERY much alike. And yes, we fight like sisters but what’s best is we love like sisters, too. The very best thing about the last month has been that it brought Jamie and me closer, too. I encourage everyone to look for the good things that are happening in the midst of the bad. I read yesterday in another blog “Believe good things are going to happen and soon they will!” I believe, I believe, I believe!!!


With all that said, I am so ready to leave this evening with my wonderful husband and my beautiful daughter and get the hell out of town with my sister Tami and her family! I can’t wait to lay my sizeable white apple bottom on that beautiful sandy beach until it turns a toasty brown (or hot pink since it’s the first tan of the season) while I watch those gorgeous blue waves roll in! I have Candace Bushnell’s book “One Fifth Avenue” that I can’t wait to sink my teeth into. (Can’t wait to sink my teeth into that fabulous hubby of mine either!) We are taking the golf clubs with the hopes of hitting a few balls this weekend. It’s going to be glorious!

And I am certain there will be rainbows…. haha. Did I mention this weekend is the Gay Pride Festival in Pensacola? Fab-U-lous!! Can’t waitttttt!!!! Peace out, ya’ll. Rock the fabulosity this Memorial Day weekend and believe in good things!!

Why Don't You Kiss This!!!

It’s been a few weeks since I blogged. There has been so much going on. I love this time of year. I’m so ready for some beach time! I hadn’t planned to use my BlogSpot to rant and rave but I’ve got one for the ladies today!!!!

I woke up Sunday morning to an absolutely beautiful spring day. Eva and I had decided to drive out to the Strawberry Festival with Donna, Austin and the kids. (I wore jeans and tennis shoes! No, really. I did!!!) There was quite a crowd on Sunday in Ponchatoula. I hadn’t been to that festival in a seriously long time and was really looking forward to it. Wendy was also there with a… person. The kids were thirsty and hungry so we started out with food and drink. Of course we had to have Strawberry Daiquiris – a festival must. It being a family day, we all had non-alcoholic daiquiris. I am talking super, super sweet stuff! I handed Eva a little cash and off she and Whitney went while Donna and I tried the fried pickles and the other kids got burgers. (I do feel I must stop here and mention that Austin is one of the MOST polite fellas I’ve met. He was such a gentleman and I can’t say often enough how much I enjoy his company. Donna, girl, I am so happy for you!!)

Appetites sated (I hope a certain person reads this and notices the use of this word…), the GRITS wanted to hit the craft booths! Right off the bat I found the most adorable little pink purse. I couldn’t resist it and snapped it up. As the day turned out to be much hotter than I’d expected, I decided to look for an inexpensive, cute tank top to throw on. We walked through quite a few booths. I tried repeatedly to engage the “person” in conversation. Believe it or not, I do have the ability to be quite charming and very polite when I so choose. Donna kept looking at me like “Are you kidding me?” but I was determined to make chatter with… him. I owed it to my BFF.

We looked at all sorts of things but as we know, I have a weakness for four things when I’m shopping: 1. SHOES (always number one), 2. Purses, 3. Sunglasses and 4. Lingerie. Purse – check! I seriously doubt that the booths at The Strawberry Festival would carry my type of lingerie. Besides, Wendy and I had bought our fair share of it from Hustler down in NOLA the night before. We looked at shoes but didn’t see anything worthy. And that’s when I saw it. A table full of sunglasses marked half off! I knew Jamie would not be pleased especially considering I had a pair on top of my head, had loaned a pair to Eva for the day and still had two pair sitting in the car! Not to mention the ones I’d left behind at home but…. Hot Pink Coach Sunglasses! I mean, it really wasn’t a fair situation. Did I say HOT PINK COACH SUNGLASSES HALF OFF??? Damn right I bought ‘em! Wendy said I had to have them. I couldn’t go against the advice of my BFF now could I??

Still glowing in the heat, I continued to search for a cute, inexpensive tank top. We looked at artwork, had a chocolate dipped fried strawberry (only in the South, right?!) and even tried on shoes and jewelry. I finally found a booth with several really cute tanks and the prices were super cheap! I had to have Wendy help me choose because there were four or five that I wanted but I didn’t want to spend a lot more money. I do shop a lot but anyone can tell you I KNOW where to shop and I shop bargains! Anyway, we chose a cute pink tank with multi-colored rhinestones in the shape of a fleur de lis. I just love it and only $12! That’s when it happened…..

Did you forget about the person… him??? He says… “Good thing your husband is working today with all the money you’re spending.”….

WHAT?? I mean, WTF? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??? I’m sorry. Repeat that. WHAT DID YOU JUST FRICKIN’ SAY???!!!!!

I turned my head around so fast I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash. Did he really just say that? To me? Are you kidding???? Wendy’s face actually drained of all color – and she was sunburned! The salesgirl gasped. I pointed my well-manicured finger right at him and said, “Good thing I have a full time job, too, isn’t it?” He looked stunned. Really? I mean you just pulled the male chauvinist pig card and you’re surprised that I, ME, TRACIE ROXANNE, had something to say about it? And I wasn’t done there. I damn near jumped on him but everyone within a 20 foot radius was looking. “Dude, you are on seriously thin ice with me. You need to back the hell off.” He didn’t speak another word to me the entire afternoon. Oh, f’in, well. Tell me again why you are single??? Yeah, I said it. YOU ARE SINGLE FOR A REASON, A-HOLE. Call our mutual buddy and tell him you think I’m a bitch. I’m certain he’ll agree. As I do. Like the shirt I bought this weekend says… “I’m not a bitch. I’m THE BITCH and that’s MISS BITCH to you!”

This person isn’t the only one that has made a comment lately that has just pissed me the hell off. Contrary to whatever you male chauvinist jerk wads are thinking, I CAN cook and I DO cook. In fact, if you check the board in the kitchen, you will see that a full menu is planned and posted by 6:30am almost every day. I also clean my own home when what I deserve is two-time-a-week maid. (Which coincidentally was doctor’s orders but did I hire one? No.) Ask me what I do, daily, before 7:15am? Go ahead…

I get up between 4:30 and 5am. I wash dishes and do at least one load of clothes every morning. I pack lunches, prepare breakfast (most days – sometimes we stop at Ralph’s) and plan the night’s meal. I lay out everything I need for dinner while updating the shopping list for the weekend. I feed the animals, water the plants and straighten the living room and dining room. I clean the bathrooms and time permitting, I might mop or vacuum. Then it’s time to jump in the shower because I have to be out so the kids can get in by 6:30am. I make my bed, pick up in my room and dress. By this time I have given the kids their instructions for the day and we’re out the door at 7:15am on the way to school and work. I work until 4:30pm at which time I head home to prepare dinner and start the cleaning process all over again. In between all of this, I am raising four children, maintaining a social life, entertaining our friends and handling family obligations AND having fabulous sex with my husband. WHAT, pray tell, are YOU doing??? Feeding the cat and playing computer games with your granny?? For the other idiots out there that assume because I wear high heels and bling that I am nothing more than a show piece, let me correct you. I have a college degree which I earned the first two years as a single mother of three with multiple part time jobs and the last two years as a wife and mother of four working part time jobs. I now have three children in college and one in high school. I have raised children for 21 years. I did PTA. I coached baseball, softball, soccer and cheerleading. I was team mom for a football team (for a league I helped build and promote) of over 100 children for 5 years. I have been a Cub Scout den leader, a Girl Scout cookie mom and a substitute teacher. I have driven to art lessons, dance class, music lessons, acting classes, golf clinics, karate lessons and wrestling practice. Hell, I tried to build a wrestling team at the boys’ high school and was listed as the coach. My point is, I have put my time in as a mother and I continue to do so with the faith and knowledge that my children are nearly grown and I have equipped them with the intelligence and means to be independent. I have a full-time job as an IT analyst in which my hourly wage is higher than my husband’s. I participate in various charitable organizations and I go to Most Blessed Sacrament for Mass on Sundays. So….. DO NOT sit there and pretend that because you see a damn profile picture on Facebook that you know me because you do NOT! And I might add this one last comment… How lucky you would be to find a woman that can be an attentive wife and mother, daughter and friend, and STILL rock your damn world like world class stripper! Deep breathe…. I’m done venting now. Thank you. TGIF – Thank God I’m Fabulous. Rock the fabulousity with me, GRITS!!!

Celebrity Shakedown

I haven’t had much time blogging lately which, of course, translates to plenty of drama but also a great deal of fun!! When I last posted I was trying to come to terms with asking my son to leave the house. Jamie and I have always had a turbulent relationship with our middle boy. Unfortunately, what should have been a minor disagreement turned into a full blown all out brawl. Suffice it to say, he has moved out and we’ve got quite a few repairs to do on the house. It’s never a good thing when a family breaks apart. I’m praying everyday that God will help us find a medium ground where we can finally get along.

Sooo… We were all anxiously awaiting the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. It was a gorgeous day and we had an absolutely fantastic time! Almost all of the GRITS made it to the parade – Brittany, Nancy, Wendy, Jenny, Donna. Jamie, Brittany and I were among the first to arrive. Jeremy is absolutely the best host ever! His new house is adorable and I just love it! Jeremy set up several grills and a spacewalk for the children. Jamie and Chad (Jenny’s hubby) handled the grilling. Nan was a tad bit late for the parade but not the drama!! LOL! For those of you that don’t know, Nancy is my brother-in-law’s ex-fiancée. We’ve become really close over the last few months. Nancy stood by my side through a real ordeal a few weeks ago when I had no one else I could call. I am so grateful to her. Between that and the things being said about the two of us, we’ve really become great friends. We’d checked with several folks before the parade party and were told that my brother-in-law was not expected. ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED! Nan made quite an entrance in her green boa. I’m certain a few jaws dropped. Our only intention was to have a Green GRITS Party that day with all the girls but as always, “Can’t be drama free when you’re hanging with TEC!!” For the most part, nothing was said – at least not by the GRITS. I made my one comment and let it go after that. My brother-in-law couldn’t resist trying to get his dig in Nan. I’m still a little confused at his point… “Do you feel like an ass?” Umm… How so? Why should Nancy feel such? She was invited by the host of the party. She was among friends. She provided food for the event. I agree with her response. “No. Do you?” After all, sweetie, you attended a party hosted by your girl’s ex-lover. I’m just saying…..!!! In any case, we had a great time. To answer a few folks’ questions – No, Nan and I weren’t arrested but we did play “cops and bad girls” with one of our city’s finest! We are two little shawty peas in a pod! Unfortunately, we were just too darn tired to visit Sibel at Bulldog’s. After everyone left, Brittany and I cleaned up all the food and most of the house and yard so Jeremy wouldn’t be stuck with a mess. That just wiped us out so we headed home to relax and recover. Still can’t say thank you enough to Jeremy! I adore ya, you yucky bastard! Mwah!

I spent the day after the parade at Alex Box Stadium watching the Tigers play ball. Jamie treated me to all my favorites – baseball, lemonade and hot dogs! If you want to win me over, you can’t go wrong with diamonds – ones that bling or those on the baseball field! I had a chilly but wonderful double date with my youngest son and his young lady. I’m so glad my baby boy wants to hang out with his dad and me. After the events earlier in the week, that made me feel like a family. I’ve adopted Austin Nola as my player to follow for the next few years. How could I not? His number is 36 which was my middle son’s pee wee football number and his name is that of my two favorite cities – Austin and NOLA!!! Whoop! Whoop! Not to mention he’s a hometown boy straight from Catholic High.

After such a wonderful date on Sunday, I was in high hopes that the week would be drama-less but…. I will say this, in spite of the drama, the week was definitely exciting!!! Monday morning found me on the set of the movie “The Ledge”. It’s being filmed in and around my office building. Everyone was pretty stoked at the thought of meeting celebrities Liv Tyler, Terrance Howard and Charlie Hunnam. But you know I can’t go with the flow (not even the Hustle and Flow (hahaha)…). I wanted to meet the guys doing the stunts. We’d been told part of the film included someone jumping off our building. I did meet the stunt double for Terrance Howard and the assistant director for the film. Super nice guys. I caught a glimpse of Terrance Howard as he waved to us entering our office building. But Wednesday was absolutely the best! I met the firefighters in the movie and was surprised to learn they actually are real Baton Rouge firemen! Of course, the most exciting news is that I got to be an extra in the film! HaHa! Would you have expected anything less? Several of my co-workers and I were asked to stand in the crowd and act horrified upon seeing Charlie Hunnam’s stunt double lying face down in a puddle of blood. It was so much fun!!!

With my movie career launched (I’m kidding!!!), I headed out Wednesday evening to meet Pam at Spanky’s. It was a nice change from the usual Spanky’s crowd – very few people and very low key. Pam and I were able to talk about everything going on in our lives. It really helped me put a few things and people/relationships in perspective. I was under the impression that since the run in between Nancy and me and the brother-in-law had gone fairly well, the drama with that bit was over. How foolish I can be! Apparently, Miss Brother-in-law is still unable to let this situation go. She contacted a friend and said Nancy and I were stalking her at the party. Huh? Say what? How’s that? Come again? I’m tired of being hurt by the accusations and the name calling. So this is what I hope is the last of what I have to say about this whole deal. 1) I’d really like for you to stop spreading false stories about me, my husband and my friends and please stop calling me names. I’m not doing that to you. 2) STOP sweating people that AREN’T sweating YOU!!! Puh-leezzzeee!!! (I stole that from Rev Run’s tweet this week. Classic.)

Last but certainly not least, Jenny and I took our girls to Vampire Baseball in New Orleans Saturday. It was SO much fun! Vampire Baseball is a charity event hosted by actors from the New Moon movie. For the New Orleans event, they played baseball against local Louisiana celebrities and athletes. I wasn’t much on meeting the actors because as we all know, I love my athletes!! Jocks Rock! I thoroughly enjoyed watching Jenny and our girls meet some of their favorite characters – Chaske Spencer, Alex Meraz, Tyson Houseman and Daniel Cudmore. The highlight of the event for me was meeting Garrett Hartley!! Wow! So cute and so nice! Eva and I asked him to sign our championship football and we took our picture with him. The security folks even allowed me to use Garrett’s bathroom!! Holla! I know, right? I used Garrett Hartley’s toilet! Hahahaaaa!!!

Last week was a star-studded week for me and I am drained! But I am looking forward to yet another exciting week with my family and the GRITS. I’m looking forward to meeting Clara and Pam Wednesday for drinks. Woo Hoo, baby! And I’m hosting a little brunch for my future daughter-in-law’s business venture on Saturday. I’m counting on the GRITS to show her some support! Ya’ll better be there!!! Only 10 more days until we leave for Austin to see Holly. I absolutely can’t wait to get on the road and show my family this city! Stay tuned….

Que Sera Sera

Wow! What a week! Any more drama and I’d have to hop the nearest plane out of here! The Race for the Cure was awesome! Great, great fun! Jamie and I were invited to breakfast at the fabulous Mrs. Laura Hill’s home. Laura and Justin Hill are incredible people, kindest you’ll ever meet. Several of the teachers from Cedarcrest, including my partner in crime - Brittany, Jamie and I were treated to some of the best French Toast ever! Thanks, Laura and Justin! We left Laura’s and met several more teachers at the race. It was truly amazing to see all the folks that had come out in support of Breast Cancer. So many survivors which is AWESOME!!!

After an exhilarating 5k walk, Wendy, Jamie and I met Nancy and Jenny at BJ’s Brew house by the Mall of Louisiana. Let me tell you, I have NEVER been disappointed at this restaurant! We had the most wonderful waiter. (Shout out to Josh from Hawaii!!) I promise if you ask for Josh you will not be disappointed. He’s easy to find – has a tat of the Hawaiian Islands on his forearm. Tell him Nancy and Tracie said he’s precious and we love him! Definitely try the pomegranate margaritas. YUM-MY!!! There are so many choices on the menu, it’s almost overwhelming. Something for everyone – pizza, pastas, salads, burgers, sandwiches, soups… The list goes on. Unfortunately, Jamie got a call out and wasn’t able to hang out with girls. This gave the GRITS a chance to really dish. We all had to put our two cents in concerning Wendy’s love life. What else are girlfriends for??? Per the usual as of late, we had to discuss my brother-in-law. God bless Jenny’s soul for being such a calming, sane influence on the rest of us. She doesn’t judge, doesn’t take sides. I admire her more than I can describe. The burns are still healing for Nancy, Wendy and I but I think we’re all finally letting it go and getting on with the business of getting on. It is what it is. He is what he is. “Que Sera, Sera!” Nan and I were also able to chat briefly about the Apple man. How I managed to find myself in the middle of that drama, I don’t know. Lesson: When in doubt, STFU! In light of the fact that I was suddenly thrust into Mr. Apple’s love life, it was only fitting that we stop by and visit with him – do an official meet and greet. Poor fella had to entertain four giggling, slightly toasted women about to embark on a major shopping spree. Surprisingly charming, Mr. Apple delighted us with his insights and humor. Have to say… I didn’t know you before, dude, but I am pleased to have now made your acquaintance. Here’s to hoping that even though we met in drama, the friendship will not continue to grow in drama. Cheers! And BTW, Miss Boatslaya Assistant, I did finally figure out the deal with all those blue shirts. So I’m a little slow sometimes. I blame it on the Pom-Ritas!! Nancy, Jenny, Wendy and I spent 5 ½ hours shopping. Talk about shop ‘til ya drop! Nan was the high roller of the day but I did equally as well – 2 new pairs of shoes (hot pink ones! Woo Hoo!), a sweater, a nightgown and a great dress for work. I am completely envious of the way Nan looked in her new outfits! I cannot tell a lie! She looked phenomenal! Wendy walked out with a cute new top and dress. Jenny remained to true to her word and stuck to her budget. What I wouldn’t give to have that kind of discipline in the mall! Did I also mention that Nan found herself a new very (very!) young man on our outing? Check out the pic! Too funny!

The evening spared no less drama than the day. I would love to say that our (Jamie and I) plans to join Nan at Daiquiri Café worked out. Or that I was able to accept Tams’ offer to join her and Mike at the hair show for champagne. Unfortunately, Jamie and I had a few words and I ended up in bed, alone and sleeping, by 8:30. Ugh! I know couples have spats but we’ve been going at it fairly regular for weeks now. We gave it our best shot Sunday morning at putting things back on track by going to Mass and then stopping in at Walk-ons for a nice lunch. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the best places for dining out or clubbing or just hanging out are the places you can make your own, the places where “everyone knows your name.” Jenny and I are quite fond of Walk-ons which is directly attributed to a wonderful waiter by the name of Andrew. Andrew is extremely patient, very accommodating and incredibly polite. He will make sure your seared tuna is well done – even if he has to take your plate back to the kitchen, count ‘em – 3 times!! (Yes, that was you, Jenny!!) And if you tip him well, he won’t notice when you accidently leave with one or two of Walk-ons’ signature glasses. I’ve finally got a full set!! Woo hoo, Andrew!! To my even greater satisfaction, the most marvelous girl has joined the Walk-ons team. I actually campaigned to add this beauty to the family tree as a daughter-in-law. Definitely, definitely, definitely ask for Sibel!! (Holla, girl!!! You are awesome!) And if you are looking for something do this coming Saturday (after the parade!), please go visit Sibel at Bulldog’s between 3 and 5pm. She’s promoting Jameson Whiskey!! I’ll see you there!

Sunday Mass and brunch were pleasant enough. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long. Jamie and I were arguing and fussing before we could get back out at the next stop. I’m certain the folks at the supermarket immensely enjoyed the crying, screaming tirade I gave them in the parking lot. D-R-A-M-A. See? Got my own. Don’t need yours, people!!! I spent the remainder of Sunday and majority of Monday giving Jamie the silent treatment. This wasn’t my usual spoiled wifey routine and I guess at some point, Jamie realized I was reaching my limit. We finally hashed everything out and made our peace. Communication, communication, communication!! I love ya, Big Daddy!

The excitement didn’t end with our truce on Monday. Tuesday found me in the courtroom lending support to one of my gal pals. I’ve never witnessed anything like what I saw Tuesday afternoon. I grew up in the courtroom. My mother was a legal secretary for 30 years. I actually spent my summers running up and down the halls of the governmental building being treated to ice cream cones from attorneys trying to get their foot in the door. I took naps in the judges’ chambers and spent countless hours being entertained playing “Go Fish” with various sheriff deputies. The courtroom isn’t what it used to be. There’s a real lack of deference for the legal system these days. The assistant DA and the defense attorney went at each other like rabid hyenas. We could hear them name calling and screaming at one another from out in the hallway. This was Jerry Springer meets Judge Judy type stuff. The bailiff and another deputy actually had to separate these “professionals”. The deputy called for the judge and was planning to arrest them. Can you believe that??!! I commend my gal for remaining calm and quiet in the midst of this courtroom spectacle. Did I mention that during this entire scene, the ADA had my phone? I can’t function without my cell!! In order to enter the courtroom, I had to allow an attorney to hold my cell. I know it was selfish but all I could think when the deputy said he was about to arrest the ADA was “Wait! Can I have my phone back first?” D-R-A-M-A!!

You would think between Mr. Apple, my spats with Jamie and the courtroom fiasco, that’d be enough drama for a while. But of course not! Today has topped the drama chart. I’m not quite ready to spill my beans just yet. Still sorting it all out in my head and in my heart. Let’s just say our household, literally our HOUSE, isn’t going to be the same after this morning. I actually broke my Lenten sacrifice. I’d given up soft drinks but after this morning, I needed a super shot of caffeine to calm my nerves. I’m sorry, God. Sorry for all of it. Stay tuned. I’ve begged for a drama free weekend but the chances of that are not in my favor!

Aghhh!!! TGIF, baby!! No, not Thank God It’s Friday. THANK GOD I’M FABULOUS!!! I am, however, so glad its Friday! End of the work week – finally! Race for the Cure tomorrow!! Then lunch and shopping with the girls! Woo Hoo!!

Yesterday’s drama was mainly work related. Who are these people that think if they name drop the higher ups that we’ll jump through hoops?? Unfortunately, just the right name was dropped yesterday and I was jumping. Who am I, after all, but a lowly state worker? With layoffs still looming, its best to do the job as requested and do it VERY well. I had to schmooze my vendor a little bit but let’s face it, I schmooze well. LOL. The customer is happy, my vendor is pacified and I’m on to the next project.

I did have a little baby girl drama to add to my pleasant work day. Little Miss Eva decided to use profanity at school which led to a one day suspension. You know, I didn’t even argue with the disciplinarian when she called. Didn’t say a word but okay, okay, Okkkaaayyyy!!! I told Eva when school began, if they call and said you did it, you did it. I guess maybe she wanted me to beat Eva in front of everyone or cause some sort of rukus. In any case, Eva’s home today and she’s got a list of my least favorite chores to do. Mess with the Queen, you get sent to the dungeon. I hate it but she’s got to learn. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of expletives but they have their place. School and church aren’t the place. Combine the two and you’re just SOL wrong! Now Eva’s grounded for one week, missing the cheerleader lock-in tonight and has had her phone confiscated for 2 weeks. She’s going to miss that little boyfriend of hers. Have I mentioned Deuce? Deuce. Deuce??? (sigh) He’s actually a pretty cute fella and mightily talented but what mother doesn’t freak at thought of her daughter going steady with a wannabe rock star?

I had to miss my Jaime Ann’s debut party for her new invitation line. (sad face) I had actually just told Jaime Ann I wanted her to do the invites for Eva’s Sweet 16 and then I get the fateful phone call. I’m praying by November Eva’s sweet again… To save the day, Jamie took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant in town – Copeland’s Cheesecake Bistro. (Shout out, ya’ll!) Girls, you’re going to love this… As we’re getting out of the car, I hear a very familiar old voice – that of my father’s closet friend – The Rab. I say in my sweetest Southern gal voice “Oh my goodness! I knew I recognized that voice! How are you?” Forever the politician’s child, I exchange hugs and smiles and then he says… Wait for it… “I’m on the phone with your ugly old daddy.” All I could say was “Oh.” Talk about letting the air outta your tires! Let’s just say “Daddy” and I aren’t the best of buddies these last few years. Suffice it to say, you mess with my kids, you’re history. No excuses. Just, G-O-N-E, gone. Daddy is now – Jack. And Jack, if by chance you ever read this, you took the car from your grandson not me. YOUR GRANDSON! Just so you could punish me for seeing you for what you really are. What kind of man uses a child to hurt someone? What kind man wants to hurt his own child that desperately? At any rate, it was great to see Rab. I’ve always liked him. He sticks by Jack through thick and thin. I can’t help but admire that.

Dinner was marginal. The BBQ Shrimp whatever it was in a bowl was too oily. So disappointing because I am such a huge fan of CCB. Jamie’s burger tasted delish! The crawfish egg rolls were super but $10 for two egg rolls? I may love glitz and glam but I don’t just throw my money away. Dinner did, however, give Jamie and I a chance to talk and catch up. We agreed on Eva’s punishment to a tee. Jamie was disappointed to hear that Susan, Jack’s common law wife, never called me after insinuating that Jack was so anxious to reconcile. Laughable really. We also had yet another discussion about the on-going battle between his little brother and his girlfriend and us. She would be one of the bi-@tches I used to call friend. But what kind of friend tells everyone you hooked up with a guy during GNO in NOLA? Especially when the truth is – it was the Jager shot girl! Hell, even Jamie couldn’t fault me for that. Wendy was by my side the entire night and my son, Chris, slept in the hotel room with us! And did I also mention that I’m creepy and mean and apparently a miserable cow? Bite me already. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I’m thinking it’s not you, little brother, or your latest “love of my life”. Jamie continues to tell me to stop worrying what they say about us. “Be who you are because the ones that mind don’t matter and the ones that matter don’t mind.” I’m trying but I worry about Jamie and I worry about my father-in-law and I worry about my kids hearing this garbage. Jamie is a good man. He doesn’t deserve to be dragged through the mud because someone doesn’t like me. And I love my father-in-law. I haven’t got a solid father figure in my life other than this man. I am not about to let someone take him away from me or from my children. It’s like this, Bubba, “Lock on da ground, lock on da ground. You don’t pay your note; find your lock on da ground.” I didn’t give him up but there is a part of me that really wishes I had. Kudos to my girl, Nancy – the Boatslaya!!! Someone finally got enough of coddling little brother and gave him back what he’s been giving.

Race for the Cure tomorrow. I’m so honored to join the Cedarcrest-Southmoor team in supporting this cause. Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women aside from skin cancer. I’m proud to join my girls, Wendy, Nancy and Brittany in the walk tomorrow. And Jamie’s walking, too! Wear your pink tomorrow and donate! http://www.komen.org/

I’m going to meet my man for lunch now. Peace out, ya’ll!

I’m thrilled that everyone is so excited about the blog! Please make sure to add yourself as a follower and absolutely do comment! I can’t wait to introduce everyone to my terrific group of girls, my incredible husband and my wonderful children. I really look forward to the girls getting involved and adding their input. Our plan is to eventually add pictures and video! We’re going to have a blast with this! With that said….

It’s all in the name! Tracie Roxanne… My mother chose my first name, Tracie, after her favorite soap opera star. Needless to say I’ve quite a flair for the dramatic so the name is right on the money. My high school English teacher, Mr. Burris, once wrote in my yearbook that I was either on top of the world or in the depths of despair. Truer words were never written. I save the middle ground for Jamie, God bless his soul! My father chose my middle name, Roxanne, after some flashy floozy he was obsessing over at the time of my birth. Notably, Roxanne is NOT my mother’s name! For many years I hated the name Roxanne. How many times has someone sung “Roxanne! You don’t have to put on the red light. You don’t have to sell your body to the night!” I have recently embraced the name. I suppose I owe this to a special little group of bi-@tches I used to call friends. More on that later. Actually, this whole blog idea can be attributed to those catty wenches. If you’re going talk about me, I’m going to give you something to talk about, dahlin’! I have embraced my inner floozy and the name Roxanne!

The most significant person in my life is my husband, Jamie. He is my best friend, my rock, my love. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 16. My lifelong friend, Wendy, introduced us one night. I was out on a date with my father and Jamie told Wendy he wanted to meet me. Newly separated, I just wasn’t sure but he was so handsome! Wendy said it’d just be one quick little dance… We’ve been dancing ever since! A month later I ran into Jamie. I called his name and when he turned and saw me, his entire face lit up. I’ve had many men look at me over the years but never in that way. With his smile, everyone around us faded, the loud music dimmed… It was surreal. Kismet. Jamie took my hand, got down on one knee and said, “I’ve thought of nothing else over the last month other than you. I am in love with you. What’s your name again?” Yes indeed! That’s my man! I knew right then I was sunk. What’s my name??? We've had our fair share of ups and downs; we’ve treated each other poorly and made many mistakes but here we are. Standing. Together. We renewed our vows last August. I surprised Jamie with a vow renewal on the beach. Our children, family members and my best girls attended. It was amazing.

To know my children is to know me. There is NOTHING more important to me than my children. I know I disappoint them sometimes, as they do their father and me, but they are my life. I fuss and nag them all the time but it’s only because I want them all to reach their full potential. So often people have told me I set the bar too high for them. I don’t believe that. Each time I’ve raised the bar, my children have not only met my expectations but exceeded it. The boys have given their father and me hell over the last few years but they are becoming amazing young men so every second of drama and tragedy has been worth it. As for that little girl of ours, she’s entering the demonic years. I’m still trying to explain how things work in our house. There can be only one queen and THAT, my love, is ME! You are going to love these kids! Christopher, 21, works full time and goes to school full time. He is my right hand! Will, 20, is pre-med at LSU. He's the single most intelligent person I've ever known. He's also a pain in the ass. Got it from his mama! Will's "pre-engaged" to the perfect angel and I can't wait for her to be my daughter-in-law. They are an IT couple! Adam, 18, is also pre-med at LSU. He also works darn near full time. He's a lady killer. He's always been the baby. Even with a younger sister, everyone will tell you - Adam is mama's baby. And then there's my mini-me - Eva, 15. The girl is just beginning to realize what a knock-out she is. She's the perfect combination of her brothers' best traits and worst habits. I know she's sitting at the computer right now figuring out how to stage a coup and usurp my crown. I will gladly relinquish when the time is right. But that time is hardly now, baby girl!

What else is there to know about me? I could have summed myself up in two words – bawdy and gaudy. It’s a Southern thang, ya’ll! I’m a wannabe cheerleader but not because I’m so cheery. It’s more so because I’m loud, I love the little outfits and I love showing off my “pom-poms”. (Puppy love, right, Aaron?) My other fav persona is that of the lovable stripper. I'm fairly certain that God decided not to give me a stripper body because I'd run around in pasties, a g-string and stripper heels all day. So instead, I embrace my inner stripper and make do with my outter puffalump! I BELIEVE in compliments! Not the sappy, average, everyday kind either. I’m famous for stopping total strangers and telling them how beautiful their smile is or what a fabulous outfit they have on. Compliments should be sincere and mine are! I could shop 24/7 - for me, for you, for anyone, any price range. I LOVE TO SHOP!! I love shiney things. Everything must bling! When in doubt, bedazzle it! I love little dresses and very, very high heels. I have an addiction to sunglasses and yet I never seem to wear them! I live my life out in song. Every song on my pretty hot pink iPod has a special meaning or feeling for me. I’m a freak about poetry and quotes. You’ll read plenty in upcoming blogs. I’m the TG Sheppard of the female set. I love all men – “big, little or short or tall, wish I could’ve kept ‘em all. I loved ‘em everyone. Like to thank ‘em for their charms, holdin’ me in their arms and I hope they had some fun.” Best thing about Jamie is that he recognizes my appreciation of the opposite sex but knows he is THE ONE!! I’m an equal opportunity flirt. I love to look at fabulous women and will dish out a compliment in a heartbeat but befriend a woman? Rarely. That’s why my girlies are so dear to me. They each possess a quality I admire – something I lack. They’re the missing puzzle pieces.

There’s always more to someone than what you read, what you hear, even what you see. I’m hoping that through this blog, the folks that have stood by me will be able to laugh and perhaps cry over the times we have. I hope they’ll see what they mean to me and how amazing they are. And to those that want to chatterbox behind our backs, please don’t. This is your forum, too. So bring it! Because me and my girls, we certainly intend to! What’s that quote I love so dearly? “My haters make me famous!”

So this is me - I think. I guess we're all about see! Check ya later, chicos y chicas!

Meet the Housewives......

Anyone who knows me will tell you... My life is full of drama. I don't go looking for it but it (drama) finds me! And it seems that the ladies I call my best girls live as dramatic lives as I. There is never a dull moment when we get together. So why, I ask, do I feel compelled to watch these shows when the reality of our own lives is often more dramatic and humorous? And truly, how many of us really believe the "reality" we see on these shows is, in fact, a reality for these folks? I thought it might be interesting to see if the day to day soap operas my friends and I live are indeed every bit as fascinating as those of the women in Orange County, New York, Atlanta and New Jersey. We may not be as wealthy but I expect that more women out there can relate to us. It isn't that we don't love the glitz and glamour, but a REAL housewife is generally too busy taking care of children and laundry to run off on an all girls shopping spree in Vegas. (Don't I wish!) So here we are... GRITS (Girls Raised In The South) and Glam! But buyer beware... Nothing compares to a true Southern Belle!